for me, 2024 was the year of things I am not.
some things I am not:

– a workaholic

– a casual dater

– a nurse

– a busy body

I spent the first half of the year working from 7 am to 7 pm. it completely destroyed any social life I had. my day consisted of waking up, getting ready, spending an hour in the car, working, driving home for an hour or hour and half depending on traffic, and then finally going to bed. dinner was often at 8pm or not eaten at all. I was miserable.

I also tried my hand at casual dating. I went on a few dates, not super interested in long term commitment. I quickly realized that was not for me. I was looking for an emotional connection, more than the physical connection. I needed to build a relationship on emotional intimacy before delving into the physical. I decided to practice celibacy for a year. I started at the end of January and have no regretted my decision to do so. I feel more connected to my needs and desires.

one thing I’m very proud of myself for is getting into nursing school. I applied to two different universities and was accepted to both. I chose the more prestigious option and worked hard at excelling there. I was doing well academically but slowly I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I ended up spiraling into a depression. one day on the way to school, I ended up driving straight to my own work place and not to school. I sat and talked to my former coworkers – people I consider my friends after all we have been through in together for the past two years. I ended up realizing that I didn’t want to pursue nursing – not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t enjoy it. I’m at the point in my life where I don’t push myself to do something I do not enjoy. there is no point in living a life you don’t enjoy living. what’s the saying? “love what you do and never work a day in your life.” I wasn’t headed down that path.

lastly, I realized I don’t enjoy being busy. I am not the type of person to always be on the move. I need time to rest and relax – time for myself. while I do enjoy going out and doing things, I enjoy moving at my own pace. I’ve started limiting what I do and who I hang out with.

so in 2025, I am embracing a simpler life. I am focusing on nurturing my roots in hopes the tree above will thrive.

here’s to the continuous pursuit of identifying who I am and not who society tells me to be.